Archive for the ‘Dreaming’ Category

Balla-la-lad

You rock my world, you jazz my heartbeat,
you sing to me your symphony,
you hop my hips and trip my hoppings,
you cha-cha-charm me off my feet.

You drum my steps, you leave milonging
for your caresses on my chords,
your smiling eyes funk up my fire,
your saxovoice blueses my soul.

My rivers dance when you are close by
and when you’re gone I fado out,
I wish you’d double step right to me
and waltz me to the end of lust.

 

What’s your home-made Utopia?

Do you prefer Romanian? Here’s the Romanian version of this article.

While talking to a friend about the kind of society we’d like to live in, I realised the conversation was engaging and stimulating for me and decided to extend it, including more people. Namely, those who read my blog :)

Here’s what I’m curious to find out from you:

1) How would you describe the society you dream living in? Be as specific as you can. I’m not looking for big words, but for concrete characteristics. Also, I’m not looking for many traits of such a society; one is enough, as long as you can mention it clearly and it’s important for you.

2) What do you concretely do in order to bring your contribution to the existence / emerging of such a society? If the answer is “Nothing”, then what will you do for it and starting from when?

The questions from (2) are, I’ll admit it, not just for my curiosity. They’re also a way to encourage mostly those answers that are authentic (cause if you want that society, you’re willing to do something for it, right?), reasonably realistic (if you can do something for it, it means it’s not completely unrealistic, even if it may seem unfeasible for others) and have a potential to inspire others for taking concrete steps towards their own dream-society.

You’re welcome to post comments to this article; you don’t need to create an account, just enter a valid e-mail address – it won’t show up on the site and I promise not to spam you :) . Or if you’d like to have a guest post* on this topic on my blog, tell me!

*Guest post: you send me a text written by you and I publish it here as an article, mentioning you as the author.

 

Honestistan, my Utopia

If I could design my ideal world, the first trait (maybe even the only one) that I would choose for its inhabitants would be full honesty – towards the others and towards oneself. I’ve noticed that, although it’s seemingly a clear concept, honesty is understood in different ways by different people, so here I am explaining my own understanding of it.

First, does honesty mean saying everything that goes through our minds? Some people say it does. But I agree with others, who state that believing all you say is being honest, while saying all you believe is just being boring.

I also don’t think that we have a duty to tell each other everything; if I ask you about something that you don’t want to share with me, it’s perfectly honest of you to say “I don’t want to talk about this”.

Second, is honesty all that beneficial that it would set a good base for a Utopia? What if people just start insulting each other and passing judgmental remarks in the name of honesty? That would surely create damaging conflicts, not solve them, wouldn’t it? Indeed, that’s not the kind of world I dream of. Then again, it’s also not quite what I understand by full honesty.

If my position towards you is a judgmental one and I express it just like that, that’s partial honesty. Honesty towards you, cause I’m speaking my mind – at least what’s on the surface of it. But whenever I’m in this position, I lack some deeper honesty towards myself, cause I’m ignoring something about my own role in the situation.

In any relationship, each of those involved is responsible for his or her part of the interaction. So if a problem arises and I blame it all on you (because “you’re mean”, or “you’re stupid”, or “you’re deceiving me” etc.), I’m implicitly denying the contribution that I have for the current state of our relationship.

Or if I’m judging you for something that does not directly affect me (for example, if you like some books or movies that I don’t, is it really any of my business to judge your taste?) maybe I’m hiding from myself the fact that I need to strengthen my ego and this is the real reason why I’m looking to compare myself to other persons whom I can find inferior by some criteria that is relevant to me. So the actual problem is my own insecurity, but I turn it into your problem by focusing on your taste in books or movies.

Or if I’m judging you based on your race, social or economic status etc., maybe I’m just using my negative opinion of you to cover the fear I feel when I’m among people from your social group (this scene from the movie “12 Angry Men” gives a clear illustration of judgmental anger unfolding into the fear that lays underneath).

You might say that talking about all this is much easier than actually behaving like that; and I agree. If Honestistan existed, would I be ready to live there? I’m sure I wouldn’t be an ideal citizen. I’m also sure that I want to get as close as humanly possible to being that kind of person. And the people I enjoy the most are those who also value this kind of honesty. So I’ll keep developing in that direction, hoping that in this way I can build my own little – inherently imperfect – version of the land of deep honesty.