Love, Laugh, Live

I have read many books so far. Several hundreds of them. But on Monday I started reading the BEST one ever!

Now you are probably wondering what the book is…but I am not going to tell you. YET! (follow my next posts and you will find out)

But what I do want to share with you from the book is how to get out of you comfort zone. FAST!

Short Answer:

DO something outrageous! Something you would normally not even consider doing.

Okey, now just before you start putting this into practice, here are some examples of outrageous behaviour:

(I wouldn’t like you to go and start blowing up buildings or anything like that)

- stare into people’s eyes in public transport (the bigger and more confident they are, the more this will push you out of your confort zone)- and remember, staring is LEGAL!

- go and ask somebody to pay for your lunch. To make sure you follow through, go to lunch with no wallet.  So you really need to ask somebody otherwise you do not eat.

- on the street, ask an atractive looking person of the opposite sex for their telephone number (in case you are married, or bound to get married like I am- go for a less atractive person

- go to a ticket entry place (may it be museum, cinema, gallery, etc) and ask  for a free admission

- and feel free to add

Now, just before you go on thinking this is just adolescent play (because that is exactly what I thought as well when i read them), TRY in ON! DO it!

Get out of your confort zone and have fun!

I can almost guarentee that after you do it, you will have a great feeling of achievement, no matter the result. It is the DOING that matters!

Oh, and let me know how it goes!

Howdy-dooo!

I would like to start this post with a question:

Has it ever happened to you during a self development training or presentation (or maybe while reading a self development book), to say to yourself:

“Oh, but I already know that. Nothing new for me”

I know it has happened to me several times. But the question that I hardly asked myself was:

“And what did I do with what I knew?!?”

Because we can be very knowledgeable…we can read and know about a lot of things that could improve our lives and make us happy.

But knowing is just NOT ENOUGH! Actually, i would go so far as to say that you are better off not knowing then knowing and just doing nothing.

Because if you don’t know how you can improve your life, then it is like you own the best computer in the world. But you have no idea what you can do with it, so you only use it for watching movies. That’s all.

But if you know how to make your life better, happier, more beautiful, it is like you know you have the most powerful computer. And you also know how you could use it to the best of its potential. You could even use it to CREATE the movies you had only watched before!

But because you just don’t take the ACTION of learning how to use it, how to install and run the programmes you need, you just stick to doing what you have always done: just watch movies.

Let me give you an example from my personal experience- because I also used to be just watching the movies a LOT myself!

Somewhere at the beginning of last year, I really wanted to go on an internship in Asia, in the field of training and human development.

And I knew a bunch of people that had found internships in Asia, so I knew it could be done (I knew my computer was a powerful one).

But, after looking a bit around (yes, in this case I did take a BIT of action), I found there was no internship on training and human development.

So I STOPPED!

Too hard!

And it wasn’t until, two weeks later, I took the decision that I will not give up that easily. And then I started writing emails to my friends, acquintances, joining internship portals, looking on the websites of different training companies. And after probably hundreds of emails send out and tens of hours looking, I FOUND it!

Exactly the internship I wanted- and it only came after ACTION, ACTION and again ACTION!

So now I will have THE question for you:

What is the thing that you know would improve your life (may it be personal or professional) and that you can start taking ACTION towards RIGHT NOW?

After a loong time of inactivity on the blog, I have decided last weekend that I am want to restart writing…and this time to KEEP to IT!

And funnily enough, the very topic of this very blog post shows HOW I took the decision and I am now 100% sure I will stick to it.

Because after starting the blog somewhere last year, and posting a bit…I just stopped.

And started creating some pretty scary pictures in my head:

“oh, people will not read what I am writing!”

“or even if they did, they wouldn’t like it”

and from there “actually, i am pretty sure they will not like it because I am not a very good blogger”…and so on and so forth.

Bottom line is that, soon enough (and though a number of my friends had praised me for the blog posts and the comments were good), because I just kept amplyfing the bad pictures…I really ending up being SCARED to write on the blog.

If you knew for sure you would be judged, blamed, people would think less of you, would you probably be SCARED as well?

(the only thing I was not aware is that all this movie was just in my imagination)

SO, I didn’t write anything any more.

Adn then, last week, I came across this quote:

“Name your FEAR, before BANISH it you can”

Yoda, Star Wars

“AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”, I told to myself while loudly slapping my forehead.

In a flash, I realised what I had done.

How I had created a whole fantasy and how because I never for once actually stopped to disect my FEAR MOVIE about writing on the blog, I had not even known that I was afraid. I just stopped writing.

Immediately, I started naming my fear:

What am I actually afraid of?

What is the worse that can happen if I post on the blog?

And after clearly realising that it all boiled downt o people judging me as a poor blogger, I kept asking questions:

“So what if they judge me?What is the worse that can happen?” (well, I would certainly still live, so it isn’t that bad

“Who do I actually write for” (well, I write to share my learnings, and if the readers will take something out of it, GREAT> If not, well, that’s that)

“Am I forcing them to read” (if I am bad, they may just choose another blog)

…

“pfiiiiiuuuuu, does that feel good”, I said to myself with a big relief when I finished answering the questions.

I here I am writing my first post now.

Surely it does work: “NAME the FEAR, before BANISH it you can”

So, What is your biggest fear now?

(if you tell me you have none, I will nave great difficulty believing

THen ask yourself specific questions about the fear:

What are you really afraid of?

What is the worse that can happen to you?

(ask yourself questions as if you were a child wanting to learn from you how manage to be AFRAId)

Would love to read how you feel after doing the process…is the FEAR still that BIG?

Or even better, is it still there?

After a peiod of holiday from “writing”…here I am again with the latest news about SIngapore

First and foremost, we have changed seasons around here…it is no longer Monsoon season. It is now dry season.

Of course, it is not at all the kind of change I was used to in Europe and Romania…especially since I was talking with my parents on the phone today and they were telling me it is now SNOWING in Romania!! I simply got so used to the weather here thta my definition of seasons have changed…WAITY until I come to Romania in January (I will be really FREEZING!!)

Furthermore, the most interesting things that I found about Singapore at this time are the Christmas preparations.

They started them at the BEGINNING of NOVEMBER!! Can you imagine?!?

2 months in advance, and already the city is filled with lights, and Christmas trees…and Santa Clauses…etc

And even more amazingly, more than 70% of the population does not even celebrat it. Because they are not Christians!!

One more fascinating piece of local culture I guess…:)

I have just finished six days of training with Andrew Bryant (my “boss”)…and now I have the same feeling I had 4 years ago…

Back then I had raised up after a depression…and I was starting to see things clearly again…throwing away all the limitation, worries, limiting beliefs, judgments that had made my life a “living hell” for some months

And i still have very well imprinted in my mind the image of myself, being at my grandparents house, on a bright spring day, looking at some family pictures after a long and wonderful walk in the woods (the flowers, the trees, the grass touching my feet, the butterfly that had landed on my knee, the water I drank from a spring, the feeling of liberty- all that had been part of the walk)…and in this context, and while looking at the pictures and realising how lucky I am for my life, for the wonderful family I was blessed with for all the friends and the experiences I had lived, for being healthy, for feeling so great after a period of depression…

And I just burst into tears…out of happiness and gratitude

And now I have the same very powerful feeling and sensation…when we finished the course, each of participants had to make a pledge to use the information we had gained in a way…and I just couldn’t say anything- because for the first time in a long period, I can see clearly again…and it is just an overwhelming feeling that I cannot describe…

but I truly know it feels great!

And I have the strong belief and certainty that in these last 6 days I got the understanding of my MATRIX…and of how I can create it in a way that most benefits me. And, unlike 4 years ago, when I did it but didn’t quite knew what I was doing. NOW I KNOW!!

And I can replicate consciously. And I know that I am in total control of my life and my emotions, and my behavior…I know that I can change whatever I believe in and put in more powerful and constructive beliefs, I know that I can change my state whenever I want to access the most resourceful one for that moment…I know that I can blow out any excuse that I have had in the past or will make in the future…I know that I can choose to be happy or unhappy – and it is MY CHOICE and nobody’s elses, I know that LIFE is the way I choose to see it and experience it and nobody else can tell me what it is or choose it for me…

And for the first time in a while I KNOW THESE THINGS! I do not just say them because I read them. Or because I saw some motivational movie. I feel it. I believe it. I KNOW it!!!

I know that I am in CONTROL of my life!!

this scene of Matrix talks exactly on my language right now…what Morpheos tells Neo is exactly what I am now experiencing. I can see my Matrix!

PS I know I may not make much sense… …but I simply had the strong urge to write these things down

Today I finally decided to get seriously started on a project that I have been thinking of for a long time: a public journal…a place to share the everyday lessons that people and circumstances around provide me with…

So here goes my first one:

I was talking to Valentina- a good friend of mine, and we were sharing different experiences that have shaped our lives.

One thing led to another, and Vali told me about how difficult a recent event was to her… her father had passed away just one year ago…

And as she was speaking, with her voice shivering, I could feel her intense pain…but at the same time, there was a lot of peace in her words, as she later told me: “I am at peace because, even if it hurts me so much that he is away now, I was there to tell him how much I love him! And it was the first time in my life that I actually articulated the words: I love you, father!”…

That was when it suddenly dawned on me: I have two most wonderful parents…that have raised me the best possible way and have always did their utmost to make sure that I and my brother didn’t lack anything…an they are both ALIVE!

…and all of the sudden I realized how lucky I am!!..and I felt totally grateful…

And one of the next thoughts that came to my mind was that I had not told them how much I loved them…and how much I was thankful for all the sacrifices they had done for me…

I had taken it for granted that they would be here for ever…and that I had more important problems (like what place should I travel next, etc)…so why should I even think of giving them a call show my appreciation?!?…

Funny thing how the sudden awareness that I could be very well be in Valentina’s shoes…and that one of them could not be here any more…made me think of reaching for the phone right there and then to call them!!

It was pretty much like that story :

There was a kid who was crying and shouting that his parents had bought him a normal pair of Nike. NOT the newest pair of Nike.

And as they were coming out of the store, with tears running down his cheek, the child saw a man, sitting at the corner of the road. The man had NO LEGS!

Then he stopped crying.

The lesson that I took from this event: to be grateful for the wonderful parents that I have. And even more generally speaking, to be grateful for the great friends and family I have…and show and tell them how much they mean to me much more often…and if possible, with every occasion!!

Just another mundane thing- you may say…but well, NOT quite!

I went to Japanese Barber Shop- a franchise one - first time I heard they even have franchises for Barber Shops!! And the thing they used as main marketing material: 10 minute haircut!! (it was added a bit smaller :More or less! )

Anyway…what struck me from the moment I got inside was how clean they are: all the scissors are put in a machine that sterilizes them, they wear some sort of mask on the face…they weren’t wearing gloves, but they had all the rest for a surgeon!

I even had a TV to look at!

And the coolest thing of all was in the end…when she finished…of course they had something to remove the hair that had fallen on my neck and cheek…a Vacuum cleaner!! I have never seen such a thing.

damn effective…I left without any drop of hair…no need to take a shower!

And on my way back home i was thinking how this would have gone in Romania: a barber with the same scissors that he used one year ago…sneezing on my head…etc, etc.

Oh well, let the HAIR GROW back! And us grow wiser!